Everyone operates with some kind of understanding of what's right or wrong, good or bad, scary or safe. But not many people ask themselves why they think this way or do what they do.
In this episode, Andrew shares one of his "Go-To" personal development exercises that he does with all of his coaching clients.
What are values?
Your values are an internal representation (a picture, feeling, or sound) of what is encoded in your unconscious mind as being the most important things to you in an area of your life - the 6 main areas of life include - Career, Relationships, Health/Fitness, Family, Personal Growth, and Spirituality.
In cognitive psychology, core values are considered to be deeper than beliefs. They hover at the deepest level of your unconscious (subconscious) mind. Values are actually imprinted in you long before your beliefs and programmed as images in your unconscious mind as a young child. It's said that this occurs between the ages of 0 and 3 and by the time you are 3 years old, your core values have already been programmed.
Importance of knowing your values
Knowing your values is key to determining what you do with your time and how you evaluate the time that you spend. At the deepest level of your programming, your core values drive you to spend time in ways that support what us most important to you. Until you know what your values are, this is happening at the unconscious level.
Your top 5 values are the most influential in how you live your life. While others exist and are important, they do not have as much influence on your behaviors or help you prioritize your time.
By becoming aware of your values, you can use them to make more informed decisions and set goals.
Values should support goals and vice versa
It's important that your goals be in alignment with your values and vice versa. If they do not directly support one another, you will encounter a values conflict.
For example, if you want financial abundance in business, and you take a salaries position that does not support the lifestyle you want, there will be conflict. Or, if you value open communication in a relationship, and the person you're dating does not openly communicate, there will be conflict.
Coordinating your decisions to support both your values and your goals will help you achieve the things you want in your life.
Another form of values conflict is when you have two values that are both positive but are competing with one another. For example, if you value money and freedom in your career, here's how it could play out:
In order to make more money, you work more and more, but your freedom begins to feel neglected and starts shouting "Hey? What about me?!?!" Realizing the imbalance, you start doing things to create more freedom, like taking down time and vacations, at the expense of working less. When your value for money isn't being met, it suddenly begins shouting "Hey? What about me?!?!" This back and forth then becomes a cycle.
This type of conflict requires you to harmonize your life by balancing various values. You will need to make compromises and accept that there may be an adjustment period before you find your happy medium.
Rest assured this exercise will help you live a more balanced life and bring more joy and peace.