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12. How to Give Honest Feedback - Without Starting A Fight

Heal Your Trauma Find Your Voice
Heal Your Trauma Find Your Voice
Episode • Apr 2 • 18m

Giving difficult feedback—whether at work or at home—can feel like emotional Jenga: one wrong move and the whole relationship could collapse. But I promise it doesn't have to be that dramatic!

In this episode, I share my powerful, trauma-informed Empowered Feedback Method, which helps you give feedback in a way that honors your truth and also the relationship, whether it's with a colleague, a customer, a partner, or a close friend. 

By the end of this episode, you’ll learn:

  • How to deliver feedback in a way that strengthens relationships instead of creating tension.
  • Three simple steps you can use to give difficult feedback with clarity, compassion, and care.
  • How to calm your nervous system so your feedback comes across as intentional, not reactive.
  • Why clarity of intention is key for staying authentic in emotional conversations.
  • How to communicate honestly and effectively, even when the conversation feels tough.
  • The 3 Steps of the Empowered Feedback Method:
    1. Connect to Your Body
      → Ground yourself before the conversation so you’re speaking from a calm, steady place—not a stress response.
    2. Clarify Your Intention
      → Ask yourself why you want to give this feedback. Make sure it’s coming from a desire to connect or support, not to vent or punish.
    3. Communicate Clearly
      → Say what’s true in a way that’s direct and compassionate. Keep it simple, stay present, and give the other person space to respond.

You'll also hear a deeply personal story about my experience with giving feedback to a nurse during an emotionally charged moment when my late husband entered hospice care. This powerful story illustrates how effective feedback can create connection—even in the most challenging circumstances.

00:00 Introduction: The Challenge of Giving Feedback

01:16 The Importance of Empowering Feedback

02:19 A Personal Story: Doug's Hospice Experience

11:57 The Empowered Feedback Method: Step-by-Step

17:41 Practical Application and Toolkit

18:07 Conclusion and Next Episode Preview

This episode is perfect for Millennial and Gen X listeners who want to give feedback with clarity, confidence, and care—whether you’re managing a team, parenting a teen, or navigating tough conversations in your relationships.

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