“Don’t slate broccoli”

The panel of peril stub out their cigarette, cigar, and pipe under the heel of their cowboy boot and head into a convenience store that is showing this week’s film, Loaded Weapon 1 (Gene Quintano, 1993), for some reason.

Detectives Colt (Emilio Estevez) and Luger (Samuel L Jackson) are the prototypical chalk + cheese = dynamite buddy cop team. Colt is a tortured soul who dines on microwave burritos and laments the loss of his precious dog Claire. Luger is the family man who dines on take out pizza ‘round the table with his ‘loving’ family. Can they unravel the mystery of the Wilderness Girls cookies, and discover General Mortars (William Shatner) and Mr. Jigsaw (Tim Curry)’s wicked plan?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ET5XJqPAW0

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

The dastardly duo is seeking a microfilm that contains the recipe to disguise delicious cocaine as delicious cookies. As schemes go, it’s a bit of a doozy, and Mortars has no compunction about sending helicopters and bazookas and men dressed as girl scouts after his enemies (and eating piranhas).

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon the Mortars’ cookie-laundering plan? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

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