Dare to forgive - it's the only path to freedom | with Lisa-Jo Baker
Bonjour! Stephanie here. I think today is the first time that I am welcoming an author on the show to talk about a memoir. I don't think I've ever done memoirs, but this one just gripped my heart. I just had to share it with you. I met Lisa-Jo Baker a few years ago at a friend's party. I was mesmerized by her story, her depth, her intelligence. She has serious brain power, but also kindness, thoughtfulness, and truly empathetic other-centeredness.
“It was not roaring, it was weeping” is the title of her memoir. It's an honest and lyrical, almost poetic coming of age memoir of growing up in South Africa at the height of apartheid. It's an invitation to confront or inherited traumas or prejudices. It is also an invitation to forgive our parents, so that we won't repeat the same mistakes. It is an invitation to dig deep inside ourselves and nurture self-awareness, so that we understand what triggers us, so we can rewire our minds to stop repeating harmful patterns, both individually and communally. It is an invitation to cultivate forgiveness and grace as the only way forward as humanity, together.
When she found herself spiraling into a terrifying version of her father, screaming herself hoarse at her son, Lisa-Jo Baker realized that to go forward—to refuse to repeat the sins of our fathers—we must first go back. This is an unflinching look at a family that got it wrong and a real life example for all who feel worried they’re too off-course to make the necessary corrections. Lisa-Jo’s story shows that it’s never too late to be free.
Born white in the heart of Zululand during the height of apartheid, Lisa-Jo Baker longed to write a new future for her children—a longing that set her on a journey to understand where she fit into a story of violence and faith, history and race. Before marriage and motherhood, she came to the United States to study to become a human rights advocate. When she naively walked right into America’s own turbulent racial landscape, she experienced the kind of painful awakening that is both individual and universal, personal and social.
Years would go by before she traced this American trauma back to her own South African past. Lisa-Jo was a teenager when her mother died of cancer, leaving her with her father. Though they shared a language of faith and justice, she often feared him, unaware that his fierce temper had deep roots in a family’s and a nation’s pain. Decades later, old wounds reopened when she found herself repeating the violent patterns of her childhood in her own parenting. Only then did she begin the journey back to the beginning to find a way to break old cycles and write a new story for her family and the next generation.
MEET LISA-JO BAKER
LISA-JO BAKER is a bestselling author with a BA in English/prelaw from Gordon College and a JD from the University of Notre Dame Law School. Lisa-Jo has lived and worked on three continents in the human rights field and subsequently spent nearly a decade leading the online community of women called (in)courage as their editor in chief and community manager. Originally from South Africa, Lisa-Jo now lives just outside Washington, D.C., where she met and fell in love with her husband in the summer of ’96. Their story together spans decades, languages, countries, books, three very opinionated children, and one dog.
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Identity in the battle | Ephesians
https://www.podcastics.com/episode/74762/link/
Centering on Christ | The Tabernacle experience
https://www.podcastics.com/episode/94182/link/
Shades of Red | Against human oppression
https://www.podcastics.com/episode/115017/link/
God's glory, our delight
https://www.podcastics.com/episode/126051/link/
You are invited to join us on the Gospel Spice Prayer Bible Study, titled "The heart behind prayer" starting September 20, 2025! Details and registration here: https://www.gospelspice.com/prayer
There are a few things in our Christian life that we know we should do more, or at least better – and prayer just might top the list. Prayer is a mystery. Why would a conversation with a human have any influence on God’s eternal, sovereign plan? It defies logic, and beckons love. How can God, the Almighty Lord of Hosts, be this close, this personal? It defies understanding, and beckons involvement.
But, lack of time, inspiration, and discipline, combined with the ruthless tyranny of our busy lives, push prayer to the periphery, to the “one day I’ll get to it” pile. And yet, we can excel at what we endeavor to undertake. So, why isn’t prayer more of a spiritual priority? Could we develop a mindset around prayer that made it attractive, inspiring, even maybe delightful? What if we attuned our spiritual ears to listen to God, and our spiritual eyes to see His provision?
As an unassuming student, I’m going to humbly offer to share the little I have learned from others about the joy of prayer. I will give us theology, practical tips, and useful resources, sharing what works for me as we, together, learn to pray.
If you find prayer intimidating, or if your lack of prayer makes you feel guilty or “less than,” then this is the place for you! If you have been a student of prayer for many years, this is the place for you too! If you have breath in your lungs, then prayer can become one of the deepest joys of your day. Don’t miss out!
A PERSPECTIVE ABOUT PRAYER
To pray is to believe that God not only hears, but that He responds. It is to stand in the gap for a broken world, wielding the authority of Christ, empowered by the Spirit, and trusting in the goodness of the Father. The question is not whether prayer works, but whether we are willing to pray the kinds of prayers that invite God’s Kingdom into the darkest places of the earth—and of our own hearts.
We may never fully understand the mechanics of prayer, or how it intersects with God's sovereignty, but we are not called to understand everything. We are called to be faithful. And faithfulness means showing up—in prayer, in persistence, in expectation.
So today, let us pray not only for the comfort of our hearts, but for the transformation of the world. Let us take our place as image-bearers, co-laborers, and co-heirs. Let us believe that God is still listening—and still acting. Because He is.
There’s only one way to find out what might happen when we truly pray like this.
Let’s begin.
THE MINDSET BEHIND THIS COURSE
Before we begin, let me tell you the obvious: I don’t really know how to pray. I’m a humble student and absolute beginner at the holy endeavor that is prayer. So, this course isn’t really about what I’ve learned, or any wisdom I might have gathered. But, I’ve sat at the feet of many prayer warriors over the decades, through books and teachings.
So, I’ll share what I learned from them. Humility is going to be our primary heart posture! With each lesson, I will offer a few thoughts, practices, and ideas – with much humility, and not taking myself too seriously. I will also share her favorite books and resources about prayer. FInally, I will introduce you to some of the most influential prayer warriors of our history as the Body of Christ.
Most importantly, I will invite YOU to pray! Learning to pray comes from praying. Our humble ambition is to inspire you to pray, and to give you a few tips on how to do that. Then, it’s up to you! Prayer is a lifelong endeavor. Let’s make it delightful together!
So, let’s get started.
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