Unfortunately, most people never realize that their past does not define them. Former drug dealer Chris Cavallini has a past that would sink a lot of people. But instead of letting it own him, he has taken complete ownership of his own actions and their consequences. This process of learning, in his words, how to be a man, led him to start an extraordinary nutrition company that employs people who need second chances just like he once did. On this episode of Conversations with Tom, Chris Cavallini and Tom Bilyeu discuss constructing the self, living with integrity, and answer some tough questions about what it really takes to change someone’s life.   This episode is brought to you by: Podcorn: Learn more about monetizing your podcast by signing up at https://podcorn.com/podcasters/   SHOW NOTES:   Tom and Chris discuss the different reasons they each started working out [1:20] Chris shares the story of his childhood, not having a father figure and getting arrested [3:36] Around 25 or 26 Chris started to change his story of being a victim [5:04] Chris explains the events that led him to join the military [6:44] Boot camp was exactly what Chris needed as a youth [9:31] The most important thing about boot camp was that it got Chris out of Boston [13:38] Who you think of as “you” is a construct [14:20] The people around you dictate your standards, whether you like it or not [17:03] Chris shares the story of how he became a drug dealer [18:06] Chris explains why he finally changed his life course [20:35] You are hopelessly average, which means you can improve [24:41] Helping other people was the fundamental trigger causing Chris to change [26:41] What makes life worth living? [29:00] Chris advocates helping others even if your motivation is fundamentally selfish [32:15] Chris made a decision that he’d rather sit in prison than sell someone else out [36:12] Chris explains how he decided to take full responsibility for his actions [39:36] What does it mean to be a man? [43:08] Chris shares the story of getting a true second chance [46:18] It doesn’t work out a hell of a lot more times than it does [49:18] Chris explains what he looks for in potential employees [50:13] When you own your past mistakes, people stop looking down on you [52:47] Tom explains how he became reasonably good at interviewing people [54:51] Whatever you do, you have to do it badly before you do it well [1:00:59] Tom advocates that you need to have savings to make good decisions [1:02:56] When you aren’t legitimately passionate, it’s very hard to go above and beyond [1:05:43] The key to passion is mastery [1:10:23] How you do anything is how you do everything [1:13:06] Tom talks about taking control of the pain [1:16:24] Actively seeking out discomfort makes it easier to fix real-world problems [1:19:41] Chris advocates changing your diet to create self-confidence [1:26:28] Personal development is the most important work in your life [1:31:29]   BOOKS MENTIONED:    “So Good They Can’t Ignore You”, Cal Newport “Extreme Ownership”, Jocko Willink   FOLLOW CHRIS:   WEBSITE: www.christophercavallini.com  INSTAGRAM: https://bit.ly/30GQkzg  FACEBOOK: https://bit.ly/2Rcne7Y  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices