ROUND 1: The military has suspended all travel, deployments, and exercises for the entire force and we’re gonna give you a quick, light, roundup ending with the most pressing issue of all. Haircuts! ROUND 2: A bit of panic ensued on Twitter when a DJ named Kray-Z-K tweeted a photo of hundreds of tanks rolling through San Diego & asked if martial law was upon us. Is there a government conspiracy afoot?! Or is this DJ just spinning a wack track. Big bonus on this round, too… more tank talk! ROUND 3: As someone who’s had diarrhea since ____ I know how tough it is to unclog a toilet. But at least I’m not the Navy who has two new ships costing them $400,000 EVERY SINGLE TIME there’s a plumbing issue. Money down the shitter, amiright folks? Ha ha ROUND 4: Rocky Blier ROUND 5: MINDLESS GAME-SHOW ALERT: Kate has a fun little name-game for us called “Country Singer, Nascar Driver, or Kate Made It Up” and you & your buddies can play along too.

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