Unity in the body of Christ doesn’t happen by accident—it takes humility, honesty, and the willingness to address sin with grace. In this episode, we unpack the biblical process for reconciliation, based on Matthew 18, and why it's crucial for maintaining purity and unity within the church. Learn how godly confrontation, led by the Spirit, fosters healing and glorifies God.
What You’ll Learn (Key Takeaways):
- Why Matthew 18 is a biblical guide for addressing sin—not just personal offense
- How private, Spirit-led conversations can lead to repentance and restoration
- The difference between forgiveness and reconciliation, and why both matter
- Practical steps for apologizing, seeking forgiveness, and restoring unity
- How church unity reflects the beauty of Christ’s bride—spotless and ready
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Full Transcript Below:
Be Unified
“If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.” Matthew18:15
A friend had come into my husband's office to talk. She experienced hurt feelings over things she had perceived were said in a recent conversation. However, what was said and what she perceived were two different things. She sat down in his chair and began to speak. “I forgive you,” she began. She then began to rattle off some things that she felt. She was upset with some decisions that had been made, which made her feel devalued and unappreciated in the church. My husband apologized and told her he was sorry for her feelings. They agreed on ways in which she could be more valued and use her gifts that didn't tax her, but also made her feel appreciated. He walked away from the meeting happy about its resolution.
However, a few months later, we were informed that she had been talking to elders about this issue. The elders felt the matter was settled and were uncomfortable continuing this conversation. The person continued to feel slighted. The leadership ignored her demands, and she left the church.
Every Christian should follow the process outlined in Matthew 18 regarding matters in the church. First, if a person sins against you, you must go directly to them and point out that fault. The point is not to express hurt feelings but rather a particular sin that has been committed. Matthew 18 does not have to be followed if no sin has been committed. It’s essential to meet privately between you to give the Holy Spirit a chance to convict the offender.
It is also important not to bring shame or condemnation to the offended person. Because there's no condemnation under Christ Jesus, we know we can fully accept his forgiveness through Christ. Sometimes, however, we are blinded by those issues in our lives that we don't see. Sometimes we need someone to go and point those things out to us to let us know we have wronged them. When the Holy Spirit convicts us of that sin, it allows us to confess, repent, and enjoy the complete forgiveness that Christ gives us.
Matthew 18 is not used for conflict resolution. It is used to point out sin so that the purity and unity of the church can remain intact. However, it is a good starting point for two people who have difficulty expressing their emotions or having hard conversations. Beginning the process by pointing out someone else's fault gives them a chance to apologize, repent, and continue with the reconciliation process.
Think about someone whom you have wronged. Did that person come to you and let you know about your fault? Was there sin associated with it? If so, it is essential to be convicted of that sin, confess it, and repent of it. If your pride has not allowed you to apologize to that person, do so. It is never too late to begin the process of reconciliation with a brother or sister in Christ. God is glorified when we humble ourselves, apologize, repent, and move toward reconciliation.
God wants his church to be unified. The church is the reflection of God's glory. It is to be a spotless bride waiting for the bridegroom, Jesus, to return to be united in heaven. However, with our sinful natures, that's not always the case. Sins, hard feelings, and harsh words get exchanged, allowing the body of Christ to be divided rather than united. God wants us to be united with him and each other. However, our sinful issues don't always make that possible.
Do what you can to be reconciled with a brother or sister in Christ today. If you have someone with whom you have an issue, especially within your church, it is never too late to apologize to them. If you're too embarrassed to do so, write a letter expressing your remorse over the issue. Give God glory by humbling yourself and apologizing. If a person has wronged you and has not come to apologize, do the work of forgiveness.
Please don't blow it off or sweep it under the rug. Instead, ask the Holy Spirit to remove the pain, hurt, and anger sin has caused. Treat that brother or sister like they've never sinned against you. These things glorify God.
Father, let us be people who humble ourselves and achieve unity. Let us go to a brother or sister in Christ and reconcile relationships today. It is never too late to observe humility and apologize for our wrongdoings. Help us to achieve unity by reconciling with our brothers and sisters in Christ. Amen.
Intersecting Faith and Life
Is there a person to whom you need to be reconciled? What can you do to do that today?
Further reading
Matthew 5:23-24
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