Episode E71 – Distancing

In this episode, we dive into one of creativity and leadership’s most overlooked superpowers: the ability to distance ourselves from our own immediate experience. We explore why our best work rarely happens by accident—it’s a result of disciplined, intentional decisions made from a broader perspective.

We sit down with former nuclear submarine commander and bestselling author L. David Marquet, whose latest book, Distancing, unpacks the science and practice of decision-making from outside the narrow lens of our “immersed self.” Together, we examine why it’s so difficult to see beyond our own biases, emotional investments, and routines, and what it looks like to make choices for the legacy we actually want.

Through practical stories—from creative team roadblocks to how Jeff Bezos made his leap away from Wall Street—we learn tactical ways to step outside ourselves and consider decisions from our future self’s vantage point. Marquet explains how to escape the trap of defending past choices and why adopting the perspective of someone else, somewhere else, or sometime else can unlock breakthrough clarity—especially under pressure.

Five key learnings from the episode:

1. Your Default Perspective Is Limiting: Our natural state is to experience life “locked behind our own eyeballs,” which distorts decision-making and binds us to short-term thinking.
2. Distancing Is a Learnable Skill: By shifting perspective—adopting the point of view of our future self, a replacement, or a distant observer—we can challenge the baggage of our past choices and see new possibilities.
3. Regret as a Catalyst: Imagining what your 80-year-old self will wish you had done can help you minimize regret and act courageously in the present, rather than succumbing to inertia or short-term relief.
4. Warning Signs You’re Too Immersed: Moments of feedback, unexpected events, or high pressure can signal you’re making decisions from a defensive and self-centered state—when you’re most likely to prioritize safety over boldness.
5. Simple Tactics Drive Distancing: Whether it’s journaling as your future self, asking what advice you’d give a friend, or physically changing your environment, even small shifts can provide the clarity to lead with intention rather than urgency.

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