Grownups Read Things They Wrote as Kids

"I don't feel like celebrating" (Anniversary Special)

"I don't feel like celebrating" (Anniversary Special)

"Hugs and kisses aren't enough" (Toronto)

"Hugs and kisses aren't enough" (Toronto)

"I'm writing this stark naked" (Montréal)

"I'm writing this stark naked" (Montréal)

"Mr. Sexy wears a thong" (Moncton)

"Mr. Sexy wears a thong" (Moncton)

"I need adventure" (Kitchener)

"I need adventure" (Kitchener)

"Kissed by a wet donkey" (Saskatoon)

"Kissed by a wet donkey" (Saskatoon)

"We only want each other for the kissing" (Toronto)

"We only want each other for the kissing" (Toronto)

"Atomic fart blasts" (Halifax)

"Atomic fart blasts" (Halifax)

"Hottie Hunter" (Victoria)

"Hottie Hunter" (Victoria)

"Mr. Sexy Legs" (Vancouver)

"Mr. Sexy Legs" (Vancouver)

"A burning furnace of hatred" (Victoria)

"A burning furnace of hatred" (Victoria)

"I thought my mom was an alien" (Toronto)

"I thought my mom was an alien" (Toronto)

"I love oral hygiene" (Fredericton)

"I love oral hygiene" (Fredericton)

🇨🇦 “The Great White North” (Canada Day special)

🇨🇦 “The Great White North” (Canada Day special)

"How dirty are you?" (Montréal)

"How dirty are you?" (Montréal)

"The worst mistake of my whole entire life" (Edmonton)

"The worst mistake of my whole entire life" (Edmonton)

"My hormones were flying" (Regina)

"My hormones were flying" (Regina)

"Mom, put on some clothes!" (Calgary)

"Mom, put on some clothes!" (Calgary)

"Puberty has taken her" (Montréal)

"Puberty has taken her" (Montréal)

"Let the devil take my soul" (Winnipeg)

"Let the devil take my soul" (Winnipeg)

"We all smelled like poo" (Saskatoon)

"We all smelled like poo" (Saskatoon)

"Get down and party" (Woodford)

"Get down and party" (Woodford)

"Hunting for Yowies" (Woodford)

"Hunting for Yowies" (Woodford)

"Passion at its finest" (Valentine's Day special)

"Passion at its finest" (Valentine's Day special)

"No better than a rag" (Yellowknife)

"No better than a rag" (Yellowknife)

"Punk rock is today’s revolution" (Victoria)

"The Republic of Dad" (Montréal)

"I wrecked his little heart" (Montréal)

"Make the bed creak" (Toronto)

"Farting in the bath" (Vancouver)

"Once upon a time in Barfland" (Kitchener)

Halloween Spooktacular

"Mouth-to-mouth contact" (Toronto)

"A virginal sex goddess" (St. Albert)

"P.S. I only love you for your money" (St. Albert)

"Grandma slept in her bed naked" (Toronto)

"Dear Michael Jackson" (Calgary)

"I’m worried about dry humping" (Vancouver)

"Big pimpin' life goals" (Ottawa)

"A handy turn of events" (Calgary)

"My purity ring" (Vancouver)

"I will burn you with my flaming positivity" (Kingston)

"Arousal ≠ chastity" (Saskatoon)

"People are becoming fanatical about computers" (Saskatoon)

"Technically, I'm a witch" (Chicago)

"Your bum, my pillow" (Winnipeg)

"I wore my hot pants" (Thunder Bay)

"We played strip poker and held a private séance" (Fredericton)

"Orange juice douche" (Toronto)

"My mom's heart" (Kitchener)

"One big, long, painful, adolescent experiment" (Ottawa)

"I wish I could French kiss" (Fredericton)

"Indolent people with tacky ideas" (Charlottetown)

"It touched my feelings like a sledgehammer" (Peterborough)

"Beating the bush" (Toronto)

"You can't moose hunt for a living" (Toronto)

"Naked hugs are the best" (Calgary)

"Witch with a capital B" (Victoria)

"To bathe or not to bathe?" (St. Albert)

"Thinking about getting stoned" (Ottawa)

"Ten things I love about Matt" (Vancouver)

"Brains are better than boobs" (St. Albert)

“Kiss virgin" (Vancouver)

"He was puberized" (Ottawa)

"Single and ready to mingle" (Kitchener)

"I practically broke my butt" (Sudbury)

"You are not a beefcake" (Toronto)

"He went to Uranus" (Winnipeg)

"Joey the Hormone" (Montréal)

"Peanut butter is my universe" (Saskatoon)

"I'm pretty sure I missed his lips" (Regina)

"If you are lucky, you will die" (Kingston)

"Love is like a terrifying blanket" (Toronto)

"My mom is nice. My dad is OK." (Windsor)

"I will now talk about my sorrows" (Montréal)

"Space yogurt" (Hamilton)

"Smiling is an infectious disease" (Toronto)

"Homemade birth movies" (Ottawa)

"God bless Green Day and Danny Williams" (Halifax)

"Hello there, big boy" (Toronto)

"Search my remains for more answers" (Montréal)

"I love you more than chicken hearts" (Calgary)

"Looks old in a hot way" (Ottawa)

"We're not dating. We're just in love with each other." (Vancouver)

"My yearly love attack" (Whitehorse)

"Stages of horniness" (Toronto)

"The first time I'd seen a real one" (Yellowknife)

"Who needs boobs? I don't." (Edmonton)

"My love floats lonely as a feather" (Vancouver)

"What's with all these freaking nudists?" (Toronto)

"We play smoochie-pie on the couch" (Winnipeg)

"You stole my electron" (Regina)

"Love me, bananas" (Montréal)

"I'm not one of those psycho girls" (Vancouver)

"Don't let the bed bugs get you pregnant" (Victoria)

"I would totally date you if I wasn't you" (Saskatoon)

"We looked and smelled deadly" (Halifax)

"Nothing is sexier than teamwork" (Toronto)

"I hugged with girls today" (Winnipeg)

"Virginity is like a birthday cake" (Calgary)

"At least I know I'm fertile" (Halifax)

"Nonfat lattes and decaf dreams" (Montréal)

"Things to do with your menstrual blood" (Toronto)

"Everyone thinks I'm a pothead" (Montréal)

"Here are four jokes; three of them dirty" (Ottawa)

"Before I die, I want to have sex" (Toronto)

"Wearing a cape and farting" (Winnipeg)

"I will not attack Nicholas" (London)

"A pornographic magazine hidden in a pile of wood" (Kitchener)

"Wieners are stupid and so is health class" (Ottawa)

"A couple of popped-out eyeballs" (Winnipeg)

"Gone are my days of hedonism and mediocrity" (Yellowknife)

"We are getting away with murder since you left" (Edmonton)

"Why is Dad being a bum?" (Calgary)

"Be careful of anyone named Trina" (St. John's)

"I'm crying while I write this letter" (Halifax)

"Today is breeding day" (Charlottetown)

"It's not a cult!" (Detroit)

"Someone pooed in the pool" (Toronto)

"You live and you learn" (Windsor)

"Mom always said MSN was the devil" (Toronto)

"Stabbing each other with our insecurities" (Vancouver)

"Fires are not nice! Fires hurt!" (Victoria)

"Stupit and dumb and especially ugly" (Hamilton)

"Backslide into lust" (Calgary)

"Half-baked psycho pervert" (Banff)

"I had a mucus problem" (Toronto)

"Hayrides and other indignities" (Ottawa)

"I don't even know what hormones are!" (Windsor)

"My new nickname is 'mouth'"(Toronto)

"My hand was all the way on her butt" (Halifax)

"I was 9, but I was tough" (Montreal)

Welcome to the new GRTTWaK podcast feed